An eternity spent waiting for you

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As I lay in my bed,

All I dream about is……….

As I wonder past the crowded soulless streets,

All I dream about is……………

As I watch the sun dimming every evening,

All I dream about is……………

As I feel every night getting colder,

All I dream about is………………..

Whether I deserve the love you give me,

Whether I deserve the affection you show me,

Every time I see your face,

I feel hope refilling my heart,

Every time I feel your touch,

I understand how much you love me……

But then the day came,

When the sky seemed to cry for me,

And the wind only seemed to get colder and colder,

I saw you walking further and further from me….

You left me to fend for myself,

To face the world and mend a broken toy,

To hide the pieces of my heart behind a smile,

All I realize is when you went from my life the only ray of light in my life,

Went with you,

As the days go bye all I can do is try to forget you,

Try to forget the way you held my hand,

Try to forget the many nights you kept me up worrying…...

You said that it would be better for both of us,

But all that happened when you left me,

Is that I changed I changed for the worse

So as I lay on my bed looking back at my life,

All I wonder is about what if I had your hand to hold a little longer,

Would I be the same?

Would I be able to smile without feeling the pain of my broken heart?

i have just read what i wrote and i have realized that i have made quite a few mistakes and i way way to lazy a person to change it... but i will be posting again in some time and i promise not to make any mistakes

The darkness within my heart

Loneliness fills my soul,

As I feel the air getting colder and colder,

As my heart starts to get numb and the pain doesn’t stop

All I see is darkness.

But as the last ray of light is being stolen from heart,

All I realize is that light shines the brightest only in the dark.

But then when life starts to break the broken pieces of my heart,

All realizations are forgotten,

All faith is lost,

All hope denied,

Need help but no hands to save me from drowning,

No one to protect my feelings,

No one to offer me salvation.

No one to make me feel better,

No one will no one should,

As the cold eyes start creeping up behind me

Demanding for my soul and my heart.

I am left looking for help

But I see none…….

For all the pain I cause,

For all the suffering I imparted,

For all the hate I showed,

For all the lives I ruined

I apologies

So as I accept the life I have chosen,

I weep because once again I have to lock away my heart till another asks for it……..

Because I know where this road ends,

So even though I make mistakes,

I know with solitude I will be able to

Restore lost faith,

Create some hope,

Learn to swim,

Protect myself,

Offer myself salvation,

Barricade my own heart,

And stitch a broken heart to offer to another shredder.

And to live a life full of self hatred.

Because at the end of every day I am reminded that,

To live to smile and to live to make some one smile.